Latest From The Star

The very latest from the super, soaraway Stir!

Sheffield Steelers have just revealed that Nottingham NHS begged the
parents of Sean Bean, Phil Oakey, Joe Elliott, Jarvis Cocker and all the
Arctic Monkeys to give birth to their children at either City Hospital
or QMC but they all refused. Mrs Bean gave this exclusive statement to
Dave Simms “I’m sure Nottingham is a nice place and the offers of
birthing drugs and after care were pretty impressive but I knew that
there was only ever going to be one place where my son would be born and that was the Royal Hallamshire.”

In other news organisers have announced that the 2009 British Turd Polishing Championships will be held in Sheffield. The competition chairman said Sheffield got the nod after he was impressed with the way that Sheffield Steelers fans tried to justify the signing of Jeff Hutchins. The event will be held at Sheffield Arena every Saturday during the hockey season!


3 Responses to “Latest From The Star”

  1. 1 scuff July 30, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    A masterpiece Jono lad… 🙂

  2. 2 Stoopy August 1, 2009 at 6:46 am

    Brilliant piece of humour. Mind after the greatest turd polisher to ever visit our shores in Mr T last year, is there no wonder it is our turn for the honour of holding this meritorious event. Hope he bites you in the bum. Gedditt.

  3. 3 Warren Bennett August 2, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    haha i have to admit Jono that last paragraph is quality!

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