From The Press – Cruikshank Called Out

It appears Brad Cruikshank has been running and crying to the super, soaraway Stir!

Sheffield Steelers forward Brad Cruikshank, the self-proclaimed hardest man alive, has been quite literally pole-axed by comments from a poster on Steelers internet whinging board, Steel Bleat. The evil keyboard warrior called Cruikshank a ‘fat, lazy slob’, which wasn’t seen by the player, but by his family back home in Canada. Talking exclusively to The Star, Cruikshank was tucking into a Fray Bentos Steak & Ale pie when he said “I received a phone call from my brother in law Cletus back home on the farm, he said to me “Eh porky, one of you fans is calling you out eh, better check that out eh, what’s it all aboot eh?’”
“I can take criticism, but not personal attacks. As soon as I put the phone down to Cletus I scoffed a cake, then went and talked to Dave (Simms)” said Cruikshank.
Simms said “Once I read it I was shocked, first of all I was amazed any Steelers fan could use a computer, then I was shocked at the abuse, you don’t see that sort of abuse in any other professional sport do you?”
Simms arranged a meeting between the fan and Cruickshank, who is said to have entered the room, circled the fan a couple of times, stared them out, dropped his mittens then went over and sat on a bench!
Reports have also said that Cruikshank briefly left the Steelers to join the more gentle pursuit of crochet knitting, but he left the knitting circle after one of the other old ladies is alleged to have said ‘Oi, fat fingers, you’ve dropped a stitch!’ Cruickshank is rumoured to have swung the old lady round by her cardigan, punched thin air a few times then made for the door with his arms aloft in a victory salute!

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7 Responses to “From The Press – Cruikshank Called Out”


  1. 1 john hempstock October 23, 2009 at 7:14 am

    Poor taste! Shame that you can’t find anything hockey related to write about.
    I’m a Steelers fan but not as partisan as some, so called “hockey fans” it would seem.
    I can use a keyboard but, right now, have better things to do than go on at any greater length.

    • 2 The Cat's Whiskers October 23, 2009 at 9:28 am

      Well John, you appear to be in a minority of one who is offended by this article! May I suggest that your time might be spent better trying to find a sense of humour!

  2. 3 Dale October 23, 2009 at 11:12 am

    Haven’t laughed that loud in a long while. Sooooooo true. Trust a Squeeler fan to get upset.

  3. 6 Caribou October 23, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Looks like you’ve hooked a live one Jono. Maybe you should pass him on to Big Brad, sounds like he could do with eating something a little healthier.

  4. 7 Cletus C October 24, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    You bastard, I’m suing eh!


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