Originally published in The Cat’s Whiskers Issue #3 September 2001 & written by Paul Balm

Dancing QueenIf you’re sat behind one of these then don’t expect to see much during any break in play. As soon as the music starts they’re up on their feet strutting their funky stuff to whatever music is being played. Chances are that they’ll have choreographed their own dance routines and will be praying that the don’t play that Greek techno track again because you can’t really dance properly to that one! The Dancing Queen is usually a female teenager, although there have been sightings of more ‘mature’ women taking part. A give away sign is the carrying of pom-poms! The Dancing Queen should not be mistaken for the Hooters girls, who are of course an extremely important part of the match night experience!

Concessions ConsumerIf you’re sat between this person and the steps then change your seat as soon as possible! They always slide out just before the end of the period and they’re never back until after the start of the next! When they return they’ll be laden with hot dogs, chicken balti pies, tea, coffee and beer, which if you’re lucky, they won’t end up spilling all over you!

The GrumpYou might think that watching ice hockey is something to get excited about but this man doesn’t. Nothing gets this guy out of his seat other than the final hooter! It doesn’t matter if it’s an end to end, one on one goal, bench clearing brawl or last second winner, he’s going to stay rooted to the upholstery. he’s not keen on shouting either, in fact any sort of distraction is likely to earn the culprit a dispproving scowl. Obviously The Grump is rarely seen in the vicinity of The Dancing Queen, although it is not completely unheard of!

20 Year Veteran“He’s not as good as Keyes you know” is the call of this particular fan. he’s been coming since 1980 and woe betide anyone who dares disagree with his views or worse, admit you don’t know what he’s talking about! he doesn’t think that anyone who has been coming less than 15 years has anything worth saying so don’t bother because he won’t be listening. He’s not too keen on the NIC either and he’ll harp on for hours about the great atmosphere the old barn used to have. Essentially he lives and dies by his one credo – it was better in the good old days of three imports, wooden benches and away trips to the likes of Altrincham, Billingham and Streatham!

The Away Team SupporterAnyone who sits anywhere near this fan is going to wonder what he’s doing watching the Panthers week in and week out. He’s never got a good word for any of our players and always thinks the away team are much better. He’s not usually a fan of the management and will repeatedly question why Panthers haven’t got a player like Steve Thornton or Joel Laing. He can often be seen with the 20 Year Veteran debating long forgotten players who they would have liked to have seen playing for Panthers.

Blind FaithIf the Away Team Supporter has an opposite then it’s Blind Faith. If there’s one thing that’s going to irritate you about these fans then it’s their enthusiasm. They love the Nottingham Panthers ans I mean love them! As far as they are concerned the Panthers can do no wrong, it doesn’t matter if we win 5-0 or lose 5-0 they’ll still be cheering the players on as though they’re Stanley Cup winners! They’d happily sign the whole of last seasons team because they were so good!


2 Responses to “Fans To Avoid”

  1. 1 Ken Abbott April 14, 2010 at 3:03 pm

    I’ve had a really good titter at this post, over the years I’ve come across the characters that Paul describes, especially the “20 year veteran” and the “away team supporter”.
    However Paul, I believe you’ve missed one – although with the demise of the old Ice Stadium and it’s bench seats I guess it doesn’t really apply these days.
    Picture sitting in Block 1, you’d always get one “Rippler” who would keep leaning forward, causing a ripple effect when everyone else on the same row did the same to try to see past him!!
    So you’d shout “sit back” and he did, for a minute and then forget and lean back again – it went on like that all through the game.

  2. 2 Maria GameStorm Stephenson April 25, 2010 at 8:11 pm

    i think i know ‘the rippler’, i always end up on the seat next to him @ the tin shed! he puts his hand on the seat in front so you can’t see the other end of the ice. you ask him to please shift his arm, he does-for apprx 3 seconds, then putss it back!!!!!! cue everybody else leaning forward for the duration of the game to try and see past him, and those behind dont have a hope in hell!!!!!!!!

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