Originally published in The Cat’s Whiskers Issue #2 February 2001

  1. Tim Cranston – The Panthers faithful will always remember little Timmy with fondness. if ever a player mastered the art of annoying opposition fans it was old Timmy boy. His speciality was skating towards the away block in the rusty shed whenever the Steelers scored. However, ‘Tiger Tim’ did get his comeuppance every now and again. Few who were present will forget when Simon Hunt shoved him over the boards into the pre-plexi nets at the old stadium. Little Timmy was squealing like a stuck pig as he was wedged arse first for a good minute!Rick Brebant
  2. Rick Brebant – Ricky is one of those players you hate but you wouldn’t mind so much if he were playing for your team. The guy can really play but my god is he an annoying prick? Rick is never in danger of winning players player awards if he makes it to the end of the season with the team he started with. Mike Blaisdell, who is a friend as well as his coach described him as a prick in the press this season and Rick is his assistant! The high/low point must be his unhappy tenure as player/coach of Newcastle Cobras, where he allegedly offered some of his players outside during one game! Nice guy!
  3. Vezio SaVezio Sacratinycratini –Not so much the ‘Italian Stallion’, more the ‘Italian My Little Pony’! When you come to look up the top 10 scorers each season, you see the name Sacratini and ask yourself ‘HOW’?? Does he undergo a Gretzkyesque transformation when you’re not looking? Dying swan impressions and miraculous recoveries are a speciality when he plays, the problem is players like Mike Ware are always around just when he’s about to get a good kicking!
  4. Ian Cooper –With his gay ponytail and girl visor, Ian has always been a favourite of opposing fans. Ian is a master of the sneaky hook or face wash when the ref isn’t looking, but you can guarantee that he will collapse like a sack of spuds if one of your players brushes past him! The main reason he gets under your skin is that you can see how talanted he is but still gets up to his antics!
  5. Graham Garden –Now I know he plays for us but you must admit that you can see why other teams hate him so much. He’s always in your face annoying the hell out of you, even in the 59th minute when you’re losing 10-0. My enduring memory of him will be when he triggered a bench clearence at when playing for Bracknell at Whitley Bay. I will always treasure the memory of him throwing a chair over the time keeper and into whoever was in the Warriors penalty box!
  6. Tommy Plommer –Never has a player with so little talent made such a big impact on British ice hockey. It’s almost a shame that he no longer plays for the Steelers as we can no longer sing ‘Who set fire to your face?’ when they come to visit. Tommy liked his cheap shots and would always save some energy for his sprint to the bench before the opposition could retaliate. This made it all the more pleasurable when mild mannered Roy Mitchell introduced Plommer to ‘Mr Fist’ after a particularly nasty slash behind the play.
  7. Frank Evans –Ruddy faced Frank is one of those players who seems to be under the misconception that he’s Lennox Lewis in hockey gear! Then when he does lose a fight his selective amnesia kicks in  and he’s skating around as if he owns the place again!
  8. Nicky Chinn –He just skates around with his red cheeks and annoying smile and you just want to see his lights punched out! Even the fans of teams he has played for find it hard to like him so god help him with the opposing fans!
  9. Tony (MoaTony Handny) Hand – Undoubted talent that he is, Tony is one of the more annoying opposition players. Not so much for what he does on the ice, more for his incessant moans to the referee  during the game. His Jedi mind trick attempts eventually wear the referee down at some point of the game. Never in the history of ice hockey has any player been awarded so many assists whilst on the bench!
  10. Kevin King –Minature Scot Kevin used to ply his trade for Peterborough amongst other teams. Probably the smallest man ever to play ice hockey, you always had an irrational desire to see him slammed into the boards. It’s not that he was an annoying player as such, it’s just that he was like a fly you wanted to swat! Unfortunately he was so fast that you rarely got the treat of seeing him squished!

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