I missed the final episode of Doctor Who on Saturday night (watched it Sunday on BBC iplayer, wonderful invention!) so I was rather confused to receive a text from Paul late Saturday evening saying “The Sheffield Steelers are the Daleks of ice hockey”.

I asked him to explain, and really I can’t disagree with any of his reasoning, which is as follows: 

1. Their leader is called Davros; Sheffield’s is called Dave Matsos or Dave Simms. Both begin with D-A-V, although Messer’s Simms & Matsos don’t seem to have any problem getting up or Steelers fans making their way up Broughton Lane to the \'Tent of Tin\'down stairs!

2. The latest Dalek ship was called the Crucible. The Crucible is a theatre in Sheffield. It is also an important part of the foundry process and there are a lot of foundries in Sheffield (it’s also why the crucible is called the crucible).

3. Both are constantly on paths towards world domination until they are thwarted by the forces of good.

4. Saturday’s episode saw the German Daleks & guess what the Bietigheim Steelers play in Germany approximately 100 miles from Nuremberg so given they were seen 60 miles from Nuremberg by Martha after she’d used Project Indigo for the second time this is obviously another example of their attempts at world domination masquerading as away games.

5. The Daleks in Manhattan was set in 1930 only three years before Art Rooney started the Pittsburgh Steelers approximately 350 miles from New York. Now 350 miles is 350 miles to us but that’s mere seconds in a spaceship. Their communications Co-ordinator is Dave (D-A-V again) Lockett and his name contains all the letters in D-A-L-E-K . These Steelers should be worried though as their largest fan site is called Men of Steel which hints that they have been infiltrated by Cybermen.

6. Daleks have only got one eye. Steelers fans are all one eyed! 

Coincidences? I think not.

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