After a two year break due to them winning a title, The Cat’s Whiskers in association with Blue Seat Records, brings you yet another milestone in British Ice Hockey recordings. Four more popular songs by chart topping artists have been lyrically re-worked to pay tribute to the Sheffield Steelers play-off defeat to the Hull Stingrays, once again cynically rush released to make a bucket of cash from drunken fans at the play-off finals! Sing along to such classics as…….

1. Finnerty (Let It Be – The Beatles)
When I find myself in times of trouble
Tony Smith he comes to me
“Here’s a 2 year contract, Finnerty.”
And in my hour of darkness
Campbell is standing right in front of me
Scoring 3 past Johnny, Finnerty.
Finnerty, Finnerty,
Finnerty, Finnerty
Hull knocked you out the play-offs, Finnerty.

And the broken hearted Steelers,
Living on another world agree,
Mike Blaisdell is the answer, Finnerty.
For though they may be stupid there is
Still a chance that they will see
Colt King’s not the answer, Finnerty.

Finnerty, Finnerty,
Finnerty, Finnerty.
Your best player is returning, Jeff Legue.

Finnerty, Finnerty,
Finnerty, Finnerty
Your netties 5-hole’s gaping, Johnny D.

(instrumental break)

Finnerty, Finnerty,
Finnerty, Finnerty
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And while the Rays are winning,
There is still a light that shines on me.
The red one behind DeCaro, Finnerty.
We play on to the sound of music
Cotton Eyed Joe on MP3
Get some better records, Finnerty.
Finnerty, Finnerty,
Finnerty, Finnerty.
‘Whoosh’ is not the answer, Finnerty.

Finnerty, Finnerty,
Finnerty, Finnerty.

‘Whoosh’ is not the answer, Finnerty

2. Road to Hull (Road to Hell – Chris Rea)
Well I’m standing in Ice Sheffield
And the Stingrays score a goal
They score from every position you can think of
We should have put in Woolhouse
But we stuck with De Caro
His neck is getting burned from the red goal light
And the release of Colt King
Brings a smile to Cloutier’s face
And Simms says his ticket sales are going well
This has got Steelbleat in meltdown
Oh yes, this is the road to Hull

The puck flies past De Caro
And there’s nothing he can do
It goes right through his five hole
And our seasons down the loo
So Finnerty take a good look
What you’ve signed here
You must learn this lesson fast
And learn it well
You just couldn’t beat the Stingrays
And now, you’re on the road to Hull

3. Selling My Tickets on eBay (Sittin’ On The Dock Of The Bay – Otis Redding)
You can stick your playoffs up your bum
I’ve decided that I don’t want to come
When I saw the fifth goal go in
I just knew that we were done in yeah

I’m logging on to ebay
Selling my play-off tickets today
Ooo, watching for bids on ebay
Sellin’ mine

I left my home in Tinsley
Headed for Ice Sheffield today
‘Cause I thought that we’d win
It was only the Hull Stingrays

I’m logging on to ebay
Selling my play-off tickets today
Ooo, I’m just watching for bids on ebay
Sellin’ mine

I’m not going to Nottingham
They won’t get my money again
I’ll spend it all on our 50/50
‘Cause that’s what Dave would want me to do, ooh

Sittin’ here just in my own home
Feels like the arena cos I’m so alone
I don’t really care who wins
I’m not supporting the EIHL again

Now, I’m just logging in to ebay
Trying to sell my tickets today
Oooo-wee, I’m just watching for the bids on ebay
Sellin’ mine

4. Break Even (Break Even – The Script)
Season’s gone and we’re barely breathing
Fans lost faith in a team they just don’t believe in
‘Cause I got heat while King got freedom
Poor ticket sales mean we won’t break even

Sunday was one of our worst
The Humber team went and finished first
Now I’m wide awake having trouble sleeping
Poor ticket sales mean we won’t break even, even, no

What am I supposed to do when Soupy scores to make it 5-2,
What am I supposed to say to a room I lost on Boxing Day.
We’ve fallen to pieces, yeah,
We’ve fallen to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But Belfast weekend started all the bleeding
Colt’s moved on while the fans are still grieving
Poor ticket sales mean we won’t break even, even, no

What am I supposed to do when Soupy scores to make it 5-2,
What am I supposed to say to a room I lost on Boxing Day.
We’ve fallen to pieces, yeah,
We’ve fallen to pieces
We’ve fallen to pieces
(Fans up in arms over Colt King’s leaving)
We’ve fallen to pieces
(Poor ticket sales mean we won’t break even)

I’ve got Legue, DeCaro and all of the pain
Colt King was shoved out, we’ve took the blame
Now we’re tryin’ make sense of what little remains, oh
‘Cause I’ve been left with the chaff and I’m to blame

Season’s gone and we’re barely breathing
Fans lost faith in a team they just don’t believe in
‘Cause I got heat while King got freedom
Poor ticket sales mean we won’t break even
No we won’t break, no, we won’t break even, no

What am I supposed to do when Soupy scores to make it 5-2,
What am I supposed to say to a room I lost on Boxing Day.
We’ve fallen to pieces, yeah,
We’ve fallen to pieces
We’ve fallen to pieces
(Fans up in arms over Colt King’s leaving)
We’ve fallen to pieces
(Poor ticket sales mean we won’t break even)
We won’t break even, no
We won’t break even, no
We won’t break even, no

Remember, The 2012 Sheffield Steelers Playoff EP isn’t available in any shops, but is available for a special one off payment of £7.95 + 2.95 postage & packaging. You can order your copy of The 2012 Sheffield Steelers Playoff EP by calling 0845 3742 3242, that’s 0845 EPIC FAIL. Calls cost 5p a minute to the Plusnet Broadband Call Centre, good honest failure from Yorkshire. Operators are standing by.

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17 Responses to “The Cat’s Whiskers presents the 2012 Sheffield Steelers Play-Off EP”


  1. 3 Steelers April 2, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    Very good. As a Steelers fan I always appreciate the love the Panthers give us. Its got to be ENVY. Well done you have the Challenge Cup which I’m sure used to be the EGG CUP until you won it.

    • 4 The Cat's Whiskers April 2, 2012 at 9:32 pm

      More Steelers bitterness, please keep it coming 😀

    • 5 hahahaha April 3, 2012 at 12:03 pm

      We have the challenge cup, you have the leg- oh wait… nevermind about the league, you still have a chance for the play- oh wait… Just to clarify, what have the steelers won this season?

  2. 6 Salsiccia April 2, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    Magnificent.

  3. 7 Red army April 3, 2012 at 1:41 am

    Best April fool joke ever if you are not a squeelers fan. 😀
    This is brilliant ….

  4. 8 Mythosman April 3, 2012 at 6:52 am

    Pure genius Jono!

  5. 9 Stuart Marriott April 3, 2012 at 7:20 am

    Can they read in Sheffield ????

  6. 10 venetia (@pepvee) April 3, 2012 at 7:39 am

    eggsellent job as always 🙂 oh the joy in having a team in the playoffs 🙂

  7. 11 Simonski Boy April 3, 2012 at 8:14 am

    This is not a good example. We should be comforting the Sheffield fans and helping them come to terms with their defeat. Therefore I would like to offer a few words of comfort to the Steelers. In the words of Windsor “It Ain’t Half Hot Mum” Davies: “Oh Dear. How Sad. Never Mind.” 🙂

  8. 12 tcwfan April 3, 2012 at 8:22 am

    Priceless !! biggest chuckle I’ve had in…oh, two days 😉

  9. 13 Aunty B April 3, 2012 at 9:48 am

    Great, LMAO.

  10. 14 Steeler April 3, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Jesus wept your a sad man, find it hilarious the bitterness nottingham have towards our club. Must have been difficult watching us lift all those trophies year after year whilst sitting in the shadows eyy jono. Get out more son

  11. 16 hahahaha April 3, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    This is why i love tcw live!

  12. 17 There's always next year... April 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    all that Sheffield sucess – how many times did Sheffield go bankrupt??


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