After the roaring success of ‘Christmas With The Family’, The Cat’s Whiskers in association with Blue Seat Records, brings you another milestone in British Ice Hockey recordings. Four popular songs by chart topping artists (plus a special bonus track)  have been lyrically re-worked to pay tribute to the early conclusion of Sheffield Steelers season, cynically rush released to make a bucket of cash from drunken fans at the play-off finals! Sing along to such classics as…….

1. Goodbye Sheffield Steelers (Hi-Ho Silver Lining – Jeff Beck)

You’re absolutely nowhere baby
That’s where you’re at
Your season it has been a write off
And your team is tat
Beaten across the country
Especially by the cats
Saying everything is groovy
When it’s really crap

And it’s goodbye Sheffield Steelers
Your season’s dead and gone now baby
I see your team is leaving
But they don’t give a toss
And it’s obvious

Matsos says he’s angry
What does he know
He signed the useless forwards
And a defence that’s slow
He wonders why the league is laughing
Which is just a shame
He’s telling Mike O’Connor
That he’s not to blame

And it’s goodbye Sheffield Steelers
Your season’s dead and gone now baby
I see your team is leaving
But I don’t give a toss
And it’s obvious

2. They Don’t Look Like Winning (I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ – Scissor Sisters)

Skate off, crowds in mourning shouting ‘you are really shite’
We used to be reet good, but now we just lack bite
Knocked out of the play-offs by a team from Wales South
I bet David Simms wishes he didn’t have such a big mouth

But we’ll carry on though the season’s dead and gone
Matsos going to try and get it right
His head moves around the locker room
And he realises his team is really shite

And they don’t look like winning
Even though they’re getting paid
The fans begin to wish that Andrew Sharp had really stayed
You think they’d muster up some effort along the way
But they don’t look like winning
No sir, no victory today
Don’t look like winning, winning
Even though that’s what they’re paid to do
Don’t look like winning, winning
They’re really not in the mood
Don’t look like winning, winning
Rather be back home on the farm spreading poo-oo-oo

3. Just Fans (Just Dance – Lady Ga Ga)

A red team
Beat You
Ha ha

The Cardiff Devils were too much
All of their goals came in a rush.
Rushed past Verner.
You never stood a chance
Wish you had kept Ryan.
You couldn’t score, you lost the game .
Why don’t your fans come through the door?
They just like winning baby and you don’t do that anymore.
Do you still care about this club?
You just surrendered but it’s alright, it’s alright.

Just Fans. There’s no team today.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just Fans. Cos they got beat OK.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just dance. Gunna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Fans. Fans. Fans. Ju-just fans.

Wish Simms would shut his stupid mouth.
To stop the rubbish spurting out? Spurting out Dave.
If you’ve nothing to say
Better to stay that way.
Your team are gettin’ stuffed each night.
Who’s getting kicked out of the floor?
Sgroi or Bolibrook neither one can skate any more.
Hewitt, do you really want a fight?
Cos Bruce says if you do it’s alright, alright.

Just Fans. There’s no team today.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just Fans. Cos they got beat OK.
Da-doo-doo-doo
Just dance. Gunna be okay.
Duh-duh-duh-duh
Fans. Fans. Fans. Ju-just fans.

4. Hey Steelers (Hey Baby – DJ Otzi)

Hey, hey, Steelers
I wanna know if you’re flying home
Hey, hey, Steelers
I’m going on t’Bleat to moan

When I saw you lose last night
I said that team is bloody shite
We’re so hopeless, night & day
My play-off ticket is on eBay!

Hey, hey, Steelers
I wanna know if your face is red
Hey, hey, Steelers
I wish I’d stayed in bed

I’m gonna go and not come back
Another game there I can’t hack
Come on Steelers, Hear my words
You’d get beat by a team of birds

Hey, hey, Steelers
This year you’ve really stunk
Hey, hey, Steelers
We’re you playing most games drunk?

Bonus Track. Flown Home (Come Home – James)

Play-off time again, when the season ends
Gone walkabout, they folded under pressure
It is decision time, whether to chip or drive
While Matsos decides who to keep or fire
And I don’t believe they’ve ever been so bad
If they had any fans left they would be pretty mad

Flown home, flown home, flown home
Flown home, flown home, flown home

Now Dave Simms can say, everything’s OK
But all the empty seats just seem to beg to differ
There’s no chants to start, you coud hear a fart
In the vast emptiness of the arena
And I never thought I’d ever want to know
What it is makes Mike Sgroi so slow?

Flown home, flown home, flown home
Flown home, flown home, flown home

Remember, The Sheffield Steelers Playoff EP isn’t available in any shops, but is available for a special one off payment of £7.95 + 2.95 postage & packaging. You can order your copy of The Sheffield Steelers Playoff EP by calling 0845 4653 7468, that’s 0845 GOLF SHOT. Calls cost 5p a minute from BT landline. Operators are standing by.

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5 Responses to “The Cat’s Whiskers Presents The Sheffield Steelers Playoff EP”


  1. 1 ted March 29, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    I only know the tune to hi ho silver lining 😦

  2. 2 Hockeygeek March 29, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    this is classic hahaha how about a bonus verse in the hey baby version:
    Hey, Hey Steelers
    Ooh ahh
    I wanna knowwww
    Did ya see that goal!!

  3. 3 Block 9 March 29, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    Wonderful…you get better you know!!! Yahoooooooooooooo

  4. 4 Yorkie April 4, 2010 at 12:27 pm

    Is 37 your real age Jono ?? You’re very clever 😉

  5. 5 banjo April 20, 2011 at 11:35 am

    I find this offensive as a Steelers fan but have taken over a year to complain about it due to spending all my time playing the banjo and sleeping with members of my family.


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